Current mood:	accomplished
Entry tags:	fiction, smurf!, superfic, superguy

SMURF!
This repost is one of the first things I wrote way back when (my freshman year in college in '93) for Superguy. Superguy, if I haven't mentioned it, is a mailing list/writing collective about a parody super-hero universe. Its still going on, though not at the same level of output. I participated with it twice, once my freshman year and again for a couple months during what was technically my junior year at NAU before dropping out. After that I didn't have conistent internet for a while and I kind of stopped writing for the most part...

When I decided to start writing again, what I wanted to do most was go back to the stuff I'd been trying to do with Superguy. Except on my own. So my SUPERFIC posts. And once again the first thing I rewrote was SMURF! The earliest versions are very weak. Attempts at puns and gags don't work for me. Odd-ball concepts that are treated seriously? That I can do. I like to think this version is better than average...

---

Finland, the Malahvia Forest

Deep in the secret heart of the forest lies an unusual village. A village inhabited by people less than a foot tall. These secretive folk led quiet lives avoiding humanity and seeking to exsist simply and in harmony in with nature. These tiny blue-skinned people only wished to be left alone, to live in peace. A wish that would not be granted.

---

His first sensation is of pain. Every nerve and sinew in His massive frame felt like it was afire. He tilted His head back and screamed His pain to the night sky. Slowly the agony faded and He managed to focus on His surroundings. And on himself.

He stood in a barren spot amid the dark woods. All about Him was the wreckage of tiny buildings and gardens. And surrounding the barren area were dozens of humans. Big Folk.

Big Folk? Where did that thought come from. The humans were half...His...size. In shock He looked down at His own form. His limbs were massive, as thick as tree trunks and corded with muscles. He grasped at His head, clutching at His bald pate. The shape felt right. But too large. Far too large.

He tried to speak, to question the humans, but all that came out was a deep growl. Who am I? What am I? He had to make them explain. Force them to tell Him what was going on. His growls become louder, angrier. Escalating into enraged roars.

Several of the humans stepped towards Him, moving out of the shadows of the woods into the moonlight. Now He could get a better look at them. While the perspective of looking down at them still felt wrong to Him, they looked normal enough. They were all wearing the same clothing, some kind of ivory white suit, which was slightly odd.

Odd? Why was that odd? Why were they normal? Nothing made sense!

He glared about and noticed that the humans seemed nervous. Several of them spoke to Him in some unknown language. Their tone seemed calm, but there was an undercurrent of fear to it. Angrily He stepped forward and the nearest humans raised their hands at him. They all held some kind of metal device. What were they doing now?

Suddenly he felt a half-dozen tiny pricks. He looked down at Himself and saw numerous tiny darts stuck in Him. And then He felt pain again as some kind of energy flowed from the human's devices to the darts. The humans had hurt Him!

He screamed in rage and lunged forward and grabbed ahold of the closest human. And then the human screamed as His hands crushed the smaller arms of the man in His grip. Stupid, puny humans. The screams annoyed Him. As He tossed the broken human aside He felt yet more darts hit him and delivered more shocks. Why did the humans keep attack Him? Why did they hurt him?

As He turned and looked for a new target, something rushed past Him. And in its passage He felt a new pain across His chest. Something had cut Him! He snarled again and looked for the source of this new hurt.

There! Another human, this one all in black and wearing a funny hat. And it held a large knife that dripped blood. His blood! He screamed in rage and charged the new human. But the man leaped aside, easily vaulting over Him. One of the white humans was now in front of Him, as He attempted to stop and turn. The White human screamed briefly as He trampled him into the ground.

He spun about and looked for Black Man as the remaining White humans scattered into the woods. And then pain again. Black Man had thrown his knife and hit Him in the leg. Stupid Black Man! He spotted Black Man standing over a hundred feet away, back by the barren area. He roared again and leaped this time, clearing the distance to Black Man in a single bound.

Black Man managed to dive aside at the last moment and avoided being crushed under His feet. As He landed the forest seemed to shake from the impact. Black Man now held two new devices that spat lights at Him. These hurt more than the darts or the knife! Black Man darted away, and continued to fire on Him. He grew even angrier at Black Man and He grabbed ahold of a nearby tree trunk. With a sudden jerk He easily uprooted the hundred year old tree and tossed it at Black Man.

Ha! Stupid Black Man didn't avoid that. He strode over to the pinned BLack Man and reached down. With a squeal of tearing metal he tore off on of Black Man's arms.

Metal? Puzzled He looked at the arm clutched in His hand. It dripped a pale fluid that didn't look like blood. He sniffed at the severed limb. It didn't smell like flesh and blood either. He stuck the torn end in his mouth and then quickly spat it out. It most definitely didn't taste like blood.

As He looked back towards the trapped Black Man He felt a dozen more sharp objects stab into His back. He snarled and spun around. There, more of the White humans, all of them pointed long devices at Him. He prepared to leap at them, but staggered forward instead. Muzzily, He blinked and took another staggered step forward. And another volley of sharp objects from the humans hit Him. He felt so tired. Why was He tired? Why...

---

BadGuy Guy muttered to himself as he managed to leverage the heavy oak trunk off of himself long enough so that he could slip free. He quickly bounced up to his feet and stalked over towards the recumbent blue brute. He kept his remaining pulse pistol trained on the creature as he stepped up and kicked it in the side. He instantly jumped back, but the creature merely began to snore. BadGuy Guy grinned and yelled at the cautiously approaching Men in White.

"Hurry up boys and get this bastard gagged and caged! I don't know how long the tranqs will keep him under. But before they wear off I want him back at HQ and someone else's problem."

BadGuy Guy holstered his pistol and then knelt down by his mangled arm. He picked it up and looked it over. Damn it all, the servos were totally wrecked. Repairing the cybernetic limb was definitely going to cut into the profits form this job. Oh well, if the thing had ever really gotten ahold of him it would have been much worse. He looked over at the Men in White who were now swarming over the Alpha subject.

"And someone find my fucking hat!"